The Books Are Open

So, I saw this episode of the “Simpsons”, “The Book Job”, and I have to tell you, it was the funniest “Simpsons” episode I’ve seen in years. Man, did they nail the writing life in that episode!  Homer and Bart trying to put together a team of experts to write a young adult novel that will sell a ton of copies while Lisa trying to write only to totally herself distract her from writing at all. We’ve all been there. And Neil Gaiman shows up! Wow! This episode had everything. Ok, I don’t usually write gushing, cliché reviews like this one, but sometimes you need to just enjoy something and I really enjoyed this episode.  However, being a bit more serious, “The Book Job” does bring up some points about publishing. All writers are in a rush to try to come up with something, ever since Harry Potter came on the scene. Before J.K. Rowling and Stephanie Meyer, we would write page turning horror novels, hold our breath and hope for the best. Don’t get me wrong, I really love the pre-young adult era literature as well as young adult literature. I’m a sucker for Dean Koontz. He can make me roll my eyes, and I’ll still sit there turning pages upon pages, and that is a skill.

I laughed at the beginning of the episode where Lisa finds out that the women who wrote her favorite fantasy novel series, a la J.K. Rowling, is made up. I’m not saying J.K. Rowling is made up, but her story is so inspiring, it might of well be. My brother once told me when he’s a millionaire that he will give me a million dollars to write my novel somewhere. I scoffed at him, because I didn’t have my coffee yet, but most of all, I scoffed at him because I want an inspiring story too. I don’t want to say I wrote a novel because money gave me time. I want to say I became rich off the novel. J.K. Rowling had that inspiring single parent story about how she became a millionaire, then billionaire, author after sitting in a coffee shopping writing away. We all want that story. Dean Koontz, as well, survived much. He had a really bad childhood.

I think it’s in the fabric of writing to have a back story of our own that led us to writing. Writing is a curious profession, even though I love the explanation they gave on the Simpsons episode. The idea that the publisher made up the story of the made up author to sell books and the books are really written by a bunch of starving English grad students. However, if the author can tell an inspirational story to go with the book, I guess in a way that does help sell copies. A part of that is due to the internet. I doubt Dean Koontz sold a million copies because people knew about his back story. Actually, his first two books to sell millions of copies where written under pen names, and one of them was actually a novelization of a movie. The movie flopped but the novelization sold a million copies. “The Funhouse” is still republished today, as a straight Dean Koontz novel, with no mention of a movie on the cover.

However, the side effect of the current publishing environment is that with young adult novels being so popular, everyone thinks they can do it. They think to themselves, well, these are novels for a younger set; therefore they should be easier to write for. The Simpsons episode “The Book Job” touches upon by this idea by having Homer setting up a group of experts to put together the novel. Everyone’s a writer now. The only two characters really qualified to write a novel in that episode are Patty, who is well read in the genre, and Lisa, who we know is smart and well read. However, like most people who are smart enough to write, Lisa is her own worst enemy. She spends all her time distracting herself from actually writing the novel she wants. She spends time playing internet games, and changing her settings. Lisa goes to a coffee shop, like J.K. Rowling, but distracts herself by buying a big cup of coffee and sipping at it.

I know what that’s like. I go between a library and a coffee shop, trying to get myself inspired somehow. I have good days and bad days. My current profession is freelance writing, and The Simpsons episode really nails what it’s like. That feeling of wanting to accomplish something, as Homer and his crew represent the part of the writer who wants to be successful and make money. Lisa represents the other part of the writer who is passionate about books and wants to see their name on a book jacket. However, the thing that’s always a problem with any industry that deals with the creative is that there’s a thin line between the business side and the creative side. We watch a TV show someone wrote, then we cut to a commercial break.  The beauty of a book is that it is a more pure form of media. There is no commercial break in a book. We don’t have to wait through a bunch of trailers to get to the book. We just open the cover.

However, in this episode, the publishing industry is also lampooned. While Homer and his new put together staff try to put together a children’s fantasy novel that will sell, they go through all the ingredients of what will sell. They come up with an orphan, a magical school and a vampire. They look around the bookstore and see that vampires are kind of overdone at the moment. “Twilight” knock offs are everything. So, of course, and a lot of writers in real life are currently trying to do this, they try to come up with an alternative. The next big thing that will be knocked off and such, and the premise they come up with actually isn’t half bad. They come up with a teenage troll living under the Brooklyn Bridge. However, they do get it to the publisher, but they need an author. Lisa, desperate to see her name on a book, sells out and takes the deal.

I’m not saying that any of this is exactly true. I’m sure J.K. Rowling is a real person, and wasn’t made up by a marketing guru. In real life, “Harry Potter” was rejected all over the place. However, it’s interesting to know that when something is successful in publishing, than there is kind of a dash among publishing companies to figure out how they can get something similar. It’s a great thing that children’s literature is being read by kids, and adults, and believe me, if I wrote a successful young adult novel, I be thrilled. Going back to the Simpsons episode, though, it’s really a funny episode and a good view at the cultural landscape of publishing today. Oh, and the end where Neil Gaiman cons himself back on the bestseller list, despite the fact he can’t read, is great.